Monday, March 31, 2008

Sacrifice

It was 4 years ago, just about to the date, that N. moved out of our house and in with B. (now her husband). John (aka: shug) was at Children's Hospital, with mennengitis, for over the first month of his little life and by the time he came home it was just naturally the next step for them, to move in with each other so that they could parent this beautiful little baby together.
N. was so young and unknowing as to what the future would hold, but was brave and took on the world, no questions asked. She revelled in her newfound freedom...
Me? I cried for days and felt like I'd just run full force into a brick wall. I'd spent my entire adult life as a Mom, didn't know any other way to live, except with N. there on the daily. Being thrown into an "Empty Nest" was NOT something I wanted... at all... After all, I was only 38, I wasn't supposed to be an empty nester yet!
But, as we all know, time heals all and I was able to move on from the devastation ;o) It hit me one day when I was in the grocery store, still buying groceries for 3 people without thinking about it, that having that extra bedroom might not be such a bad thing. Afterall, I'd never had a room all my own that I could do whatever I wanted with. A room that wasn't a bedroom, but had the potential to be my very own "play" room!
Four years have passed since then. I've relished each and every moment of having that room all for me. If C. didn't have his own area, I might even feel selfish about it. It's through the laundry room and all the way to the back, when we toured the house before buying it I was surprised to even see that room, it was kind of hidden, that's why I loved it! It has a double window that looks out onto the big backyard, the cats love to lay in that window sill watching the birds.
Fast forward to the week before Easter, N. calls and says they have something to ask me when they come over for dinner, and of course, seeing as she can't keep anything from me, follows it up with "We were thinking..."
If you have teenagers or young adult children, you know that question is sometimes one you wish you could avoid at all cost. LOL It's almost always followed up by some grand scheme or plan they've conjured up, and it's almost always, according to them, the greatest idea since sliced bread. I got nervous when she said it this time, because the last time she said it, they'd decided they wanted to move back down south to raise the boys. (an idea that just as quickly moved down south).
She says "We were thinking, maybe if it would be okay with you and C., just maybe we could live with you for a little while to save some money for a house, and so the boys and me wouldn't be home alone all night any more while B. works." Well, she just knew that throwing that last part in would get me. She knows we have always hated her being alone at night in a not-so-safe neighborhood with the boys, while B. has the car at work. So of course she played that card lol. Smart girl.
So after much discussion between C. and I, my favorite little room in the universe, will now become our bedroom for a while. We've agreed to help them out for up to one year so that they can buy a house and so that C. and I can sleep easier each night, knowing that they are all okay.
I guess they are right when they say "they always come back", whoever the heck said that lol
It will be interesting to see how things unfold, but truth be told I'm sooooo looking forward to cuddling on the couch with my two favorite little boys, even if it IS to watch Sponge Bob. To having a house filled with the laughter of children and conversations with the daughter that has also grown into a friend.
I'll miss that little hidden room, more than you'll ever know, but for now I'll put the empty nest aside and enjoy a full house.

Till next time...

1 people had this to say:

Connie said...

I'll be interested in following your story of 'they always come back.' Maybe you could write a book about the year to come. For me it would be a super sacrafice, then again you're sure to have some new adventures. My children live near-by so I know my playroom will always belong to me and... a growing grandchild. Thnk you so much for putting me on your links. Connie

 
design by suckmylolly.com