Tuesday, May 27, 2008

collector of ideas

I've been thinking lately about how much time I've spent in life just waiting... waiting for something to happen, waiting to become.... just become...
I am a collector of so many things, most of them being ideas and wishes. On a daily basis I can be caught pouring through magazines or articles on the internet about how to make life better, prettier, perfect... Anything but what it is now, for some reason.
I can't tell you how many articles I've printed out, or pictures I've clipped of the way I envision my life to be. In fact I've spent so much time pouring, printing, clipping, wishing things were different in so many ways, that life somehow passed right by me.
All of these ideas and pictures of beautiful rooms, crafty ideas, do it yourself tips, country gardens in full bloom, sassy haircuts, and romantic notions... all of the things I want for my life, all of which are absolutely 100% attainable if they were actually applied in some way shape or form, none of which ever really have been.
I've been thinking a lot about why I've never applied any of these ideas and the only answer I can really come up with is that I have always had a fear of failure, a fear so strong that it has kept me from ever even beginning to make something of my life, my home, myself...
Why can't I be the woman I dream of being? The one with the beautiful garden, the newly painted country kitchen, the best homemade chocolate chip zucchini bread, the manicured toenails and freshly cut "do"? What's keeping me from making all of these ideas happen that I've been collecting all of these years?
Well, I've decided that sitting around wondering about it all is wasting even more time than I already have... it's time to make a few things happen! Soon I'll be returning to school to study Early Childhood Education, and while I don't know if I'll ever actually gain a degree, it's the learning that I'm interested in. Maybe someday I really will become a kindergarten teacher, but for now I'm content with the idea of learning something new on a daily basis and actually applying it to my life. After all, that's what real living is all about, right?
And starting this weekend I'll be planning a garden, and I mean a real garden, not just a bulb here and there. It will take a lifetime to see the results, but digging my hands into the moist, sweet smelling earth is what I'm looking forward to... actually giving my attention to the real thing and not just a picture from a magazine. After all, life is not a magazine, or an article on some computer screen somewhere... it's happening right here and right now, for every single one of us!
For those of you that have applied their dreams to real-life, I applaud you, you are my inspiration and give me hope that an ordinary girl like me can really make things happen.
And for those of you that haven't, won't you come along on this journey with me? Pick just one of those lifelong dreams you've always had and do something to make it happen, because we really can make this happen...
And now to switch gears for a while... this is such a great video, hope you enjoy it!

1 people had this to say:

Kathie said...

I can totally relate to this post, sisterfriend. With this in mind, the whole process of getting my preschool certification and getting my own classroom was a scary one LOL. Same goes for the whole missionary thing. I have the greatest aspirations but am typically non-committal so when I actually follow through with something it's a real life-changing event.

 
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