Sunday, August 17, 2008

home

Some say that home is where you hang your hat, others say it's where you lay your head...
I think that home is the place you spend your whole life trying to get back to. Maybe it's miles and miles away where your family and friends are, maybe it's just the feeling of comfort and love that you associate with a certain place. Or maybe it's not even a place you've ever been to, but have only dreamt about a time or two, a dream that was so real to you that you know the place must certainly exist, somewhere.
Today ~N. spoke those words to me that I always dread hearing, words of returning to the place we call home, the state of Texas. At the end of their year here with us, they plan to pack all of their belongings and the boys and make their way home.
I want so much to be happy for them, and I am... I want to stay strong and not shed a tear when I think about being left behind, not seeing the boys often enough for them to feel my presence in their lives.
I don't want to be selfish with my love, wishing that they would stay here forever, somewhere just down the road...
And most of all I don't want to envy them for actually going back to the place I miss so dearly. The place that holds so many fond memories for me.
But I must admit that in my heart there is a deep sadness when I think of being so far away from every single person in my family except ~C. How does a person deal with such a sadness? People must do it every day, but how? I cannot even comprehend the feeling of loss when you watch your whole heart drive off into the sunset, not knowing when you will see each other again.
Lord, help me be strong through all of this, I know you have great plans for them, help me to be happy and strong and supportive, and most of all to remember that it's not all about me! And help me to make my home one where memories are made and family and friends long to return to someday...

6 people had this to say:

From A Creative Heart said...

Sweetie...I don't have the answer...but know that I am sending hugs and prayers your way!!!
Deb

~T. said...

Thanks Deb I appreciate it...
~Tiff

Nan said...

I'll be back to read and catch up soon, but I wanted to tag you and give you an award as well, you're one of my newer blogs I have been reading and enjoying, but I have been too preoccupied with wedding stuff recently and then my mother in law being here for an extended stay and her using the room the computer is in makes it hard to have time to do my bloggy things!

Connie said...

Oh! hmmm! I don't know what I would I do? Hopefully, you can all get together on the holidays...

You'll have a place to visit... and you like Texas. Ya... I agree
trust the Lord!

DavBow1 said...

You know what? I bet they will be back before you know it! It deeply saddens me to know how hard it will be for you to see them go, I know, because I have been through it so many times, and now you are all scattered everywhere except where I am. But, distance doesn't come between hearts, it just creates a little ache that makes a reunion all that much more joyful and sweet! Love 'Ya

Ellen said...

Ah, Tiff, I know this is so hard to even think about. Big hugs, my friend...

Ellen

 
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